Imagine

within the past month, i've seen beck's little imagination starting to take shape. it's awesome. i first noticed it when he started to carry his friends, elle and maren, around in his pocket. he would pull them out of his pocket and show them to me in his hand. i have no idea where he picked this up or if there's even a source of origination for it other than his fascinating little boy brain. he literally just woke up one morning and starting pretending and imagining. and it's only the beginning.  i would "imagine" (har har) that pirate ships, fighting ninjas, bugs, swords, cowboys and indians, etc., won't be too far behind (i've never had a little boy before, and i grew up with 2 sisters, so i'm only speculating that this is what boys like to play?).

since this new development, i've started wondering when we stopped using our own imaginations? i guess it's just a gradual fading out process that happens over time--but when did that process start? i'm trying to recall the last time i let my childhood imagination run wild, and what i recall the most is from growing up on marye street. the magnolia tree in the backyard WAS a pirate ship; our backyard was surrounded by a concrete wall, so in essence it was the perfect fort, too. we made "red beans and rice" out of the red seeds that fell out of the magnolia tree pod things and threw some caterpillars in there. ms. weber's yard (the next door neighbor) was perfect for the "living room" we constructed out of pine straw, leaves, and junk we found on the ground or in the ally behind our house (where gangs typically frequented as well. it doubled as a child's playground AND gang gathering! that's normal, no?). we rode bikes down to the bayou at the end of the street and poked gargantuan bullfrogs that were dead on the side of the road and went fishing for minnows with handcrafted fishing poles constructed of branches and reeds or those cat-tail/hot dog things. 

there are definitely some memories of cooks point, but by the time we moved out there, i was in junior high and imaginative play was decreasing. maybe as interest in boys, friends, and superficial nonsense increased, the pretend play was beginning to die a little. tear. it's quite a shame, really. 

but how neat that the Creator of the universe was so creative Himself to give us an imagination as children to be able to dream without limits, without rules, without any sort of boundaries. And we ARE made in his image--the image of the most creative being that ever existed. The One who spoke the earth into motion, painted the most beautiful skies, carved the deepest valleys and highest mountains, the dense forests and the vast deserts. The One who crafted every animal, insect, every being so perfectly and intentionally. Now HE had the ultimate imagination! I mean, WOW!
 Now that i think about it, just as we look fondly at our own children and strive for them to learn the ability stretch their minds into developing something out of nothing, maybe the Lord looks at us, HIS children, to do the same? What if He wants us to use our creativity and dare to dream about doing things that only seem impossible? What if he gave us this gift, this desire, to show us that through only Him and His help, His blessing, His power, and His ability that He can accomplish these things? Hmph, never really thought about that until now. 

I'm guilty of giving up on dreams. I think that childhood imagination is eventually replaced by unrealistic fantasies. Or maybe that's just the harsh adult word/version of imagination: unrealistic fantasy. To be honest, I don't even know what dreams I have. Somewhere along the lines of living in a broken world, I killed them. Satan killed them. He keeps telling me I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not confident enough, not smart enough. Not ______ enough. Just fill in the blank. And I keep believing it. Oh to have childlike faith again. I used to want to be a veterinarian. An artist. A jockey (I completely laugh at this one now...I really am too big and not a small hispanic man. But I really did want to ride racehorses). I don't even know what dreams I have right now. I'm talking REAL dreams--not like owning a house on the coast of France or something that's obviously not ever going to happen. I'm talking healthy dreams; dreams that are born out of purpose and passion. So lemme think for a second.....

I dream about raising these kiddos to know and love the Lord and serve Him and bring glory to Him. To further His kingdom here on earth. Shoot, I dream that for myself.

I dream about using whatever talents I have been given to do something good and worthwhile for Jesus. But in order to do that, that'll require me peeking into my heart and looking in all those deep, dark places that sometimes I'm scared to look because I'm afraid of what I may find. On a lighter note, I dream about one day learning to play the guitar, tapping back into my creative side (I loved absolutely loved art in high school but later convinced myself I wasn't really that good. But in all honesty, I was surprisingly impressed with what I could do..that counts for something, right?). So yeah, still need to peel back a few layers on that one. 

I'm currently reading the book, Restless, by Jennie Allen. It's been amazing. And she actually walks you through uncovering your gifts/talents/passions in order to use them for the Lord and helps narrow the focus for finding your place in this life here on earth. She also digs into opening wounds and using past or present sufferings to recognize your gifts and passions as well. I'm loving it. She helps make sense of all the threads of your life in order to weave them together for something beautiful for the Lord. 

So, here's to imagination and silly dreams again. And maybe they're not so silly after all. God gave us this ability, and just like everything else he's given, we can and should use it for Him. And thanks to my 2 1/2 year old for helping me remember what it's like to dream and imagine. I know I won't think his dreams are silly, and I don't think God will think our dreams are, either.